Tuesday, April 10, 2007

In response to Shashi Tharoor's response

Shashi Tharoor, who I believe made a major faux pas in his column on the Sari two weeks back (about which I have written here), has now responded to the various brickbats he received from the blogging world here.

To a large extent I believe Shashi's response was confusing and amusing. Given the amount of criticism he received it seems as though he is desperately trying to make the best of the worst situation he already is in. Even as he concedes that all the points raised by his critics were indeed valid, he tries to get off by saying whatever was stated in the article was his opinion and that he is entitled to one. Somehow the whole argument does not hold water, especially with me. First, he advocates this whole theory about Indian women and the Sari, and when he is cornered he hides behind the whole notion of individual opinion and getting a male perspective to the table. In my opinion, without saying so, he does seem to admit that his views were indeed patriarchal; but then, he opines, that shouldn't really bother anyone else because those are only "his" views.

I find that terribly problematic. When you stand up there and ask a group of professional women journalists why they are not wearing a Sari, it is not an individual opinion any more. When you get all preachy about it, and write in the newspapers saying in the decline of the Sari as an attire you see the decline of Indian values and traditions and cultures, you have put the personal in the public sphere. And then, you cannot just get away saying "this is my personal opinion; and if you do not want to agree that is your problem". The fact is Mr Tharoor, Sari or any other feminine attire does come with a history, a history of burden and stereotyping more than anything else. (This statement doesn't really convey what I want to say: I don't mean to state that because there is a history associated with what women wear one shouldn't wear anything at all. That definitely is not my point. When there is already a history associated, one should not actually reinforce those very stereotypes.) And when you stand up there on a pedestal and promote the very same attire, questions will be raised, fingers will be pointed; you can't just get away now saying - oh this is all very personal! You obviously weren't looking to just state your views, else you wouldn't be elated by the response of individuals who said they were going to switch to wearing a Sari. You wanted the column to make an impact, as you yourself said, in the response of such people "lies the hope that my column will not have been entirely in vain...".

And as to why the same emphasis is not paid to men and their dhotis/mundus, even in his response Shashi is more or less silent, except to say that a "whatever the aesthetic merits of the dhoti or mundu, they pale in comparison with those of the sari". Again, in his first article about the Sari itself, the emphasis throughout was not on the "aesthetic merits" of the Sari alone in comparison to the dhoti, but on the intrinsic link between the Sari and Indian culture. If that is the main argument of your article, Shashi, I don't see how the dhoti or mundu doesn't fit into the picture. Isn't the dhoti a traditional attire of Indian men?

In Shashi Tharoor's response he also talks about why he is always seen in a western attire. He says he does so because "if I was to represent the United Nations to the world, I was expected to do it in a suit and tie." How conveniently does he forget the example of Mahatma Gandhi that he himself gave us in the last article! Let me quote his own words: "Gandhiji demonstrated that one did not have to put on a Western suit to challenge the British empire;" and then this, "Our clothing has always been part of our sense of authenticity". These words and statements and examples are used easily to suit his argument about why women should wear a Sari but are happily forgotten when asked about why he adorns a Western suit? Is that hypocrisy or what? As an Indian representing the UN to the world, isn't the onus to "wear" your authenticity on you as well?

At the end of the second article, I am even more disappointed and angry than I was before. Mr Tharoor, you come all out and say that everything you said about the Sari was a personal opinion - as though individual views and ideas are indeed important. Yet, you have a major problem when about half the population of this country makes a choice about what they would like to wear or not wear. Isn't it ironic?

14 comments:

Naren said...

Good response... but I have a problem with this -

"..or any other feminine attire does come with a history, a history of burden and stereotyping more than anything else.."

Do you mean to say that anything which is reminiscent of oppression/stereotyping should be discarded?

Should everyone discard Swastika because it was historically connected with Nazism?

Anonymous said...

[naren] No, I do not mean it should be discarded. But the stereotyping should be, and I don't believe Shashi is actually doing that. In both his articles, it seems to me that he is in fact reinforcing the stereotypes. Shouldn't the choice of what to wear be left to the women themselves?

Anju Chandel said...

Now we know what Shakespeare meant when he said 'much ado about nothing'!

Shashi Tharoor is truly an NRI - "never relinquished innocence" - as it is clear that "he had missed the beasts for the woods" in making an appeal for ‘Sari wearing’. Otherwise, he would have known that an average Indian male (to whomsoever it is applicable!) does not get allured by females in beautiful Saris anymore (except if it is worn with a bikini-cum-blouse in a truly Bollywood ishtyle!) and, that it is disgusting to see their eyeballs roll out of their sockets upon seeing a female in a western outfit, and, that they are adept in the art of "if eyes could rape". … He also needs to learn that our New India is different from the India of early ‘70s that he had left and, that we Indians do not hesitate in ‘tearing apart’ beautiful Saris (and its advocate alike) that our mothers still wear and around which are woven many of our beautiful childhood memories.

Wonder why we women-kind(?) - "The Statues of Liberty" - never ever dare or care to unite against such and many other forms of atrocities perpetrated upon our fellow females?
.
.
"Ever wondered what we critics would do when we lost our jobs?" ... We would end up at least in a laboratory as an assistant if not in an OT as a surgeon because of our unmatched "dissecting" skills!"

Anonymous said...

I am Kela.I used to post on DC before i got IP banned by Aaman the raging buddhist.

you say-"The fact is Mr. Tharoor, the sari or any other feminine attire does come with a history, a history of burden and stereotyping more than anything else"

so are you saying women should walk around naked ?what attire do you wear Emma? I think modern day office wear is more enforced than voluntary.

you-"I find that terribly problematic. When you stand up there and ask a group of professional women journalists why they are not wearing a sari, it is not an individual opinion any more"

what does it become then ? was Shashi speaking on behalf of any organisation/group/political party? NO ,he wasn't ,it was his personal view.Being a journalist yourself you should be aware that even newspapers always stress that the views of the guest editors are their own personal views and not that of the paper.

That said the rest of your post was brilliant(if what you say is true about what shashi said in his orginal article since i didn't read it).I personally like the sari.Indian women don't have the build to wear western dresses and the sari does well to hide the thunder thighs and fatty bottoms.Even fatsos look very elegant in a sari.

Anonymous said...

Emma: If you are an Indian representative at the UN and to the world, isn't the onus to "wear" your authenticity on you?

Shashi wasn't an Indian representative to the UN, but the UN Under-Secretary General for Communications and Public Information. In this post, he was representing the UN to the world and not India to the UN. I think there is a slight difference...

Emma: Mr Tharoor, you come all out and say that everything you said about the Sari was a personal opinion - as though individual views and ideas are indeed important. Yet, you have a major problem when about half the population of this country makes a choice about what they would like to wear or not wear. Isn't it ironic?

Somehow, I don't see the irony here. His major problem is still his opinion and his perspective of the situation. How important his opinion on the subject is left to the reader.

Emma said...

[Anju] You are right - having lived out of this country for so long, Shashi is truly not in sync with the ways of the people here any more. Sorry, but just couldn't desist "tearing apart" Shashi Tharoor and his ideas about the Sari - when someone stands up there and tries to tell me that I am less of an Indian because of what I wear, I have a problem with that. I do believe one should voice one's protest.

On the lighter side, yes, our "dissecting" skills must have put quite a few in a spot! Why don't we unite against all atrocities perpetrated upon our fellow females? Honestly, I have no answers. But yes, I wish we would.

[unmana] Thanks! This is my last word on this, trust me. Yes, he indeed is making a fool of himself. Now, I have put this to rest. I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

[anonymous] Alright - I think I didn't come out really clearly with that statement - I am gonna edit the same. But, no, I don't mean to say that women walk around naked. All I mean is each woman decides for oneself what one wants to wear, not anybody else. That, I would say, is your opinion - about the modern day office wear. If people are okay with wearing what they are wearing, whatever that may be, why the heck should anyone care? What do I wear? I wear what is comfortable to me and in all these years haven't given a damn about what others think.

You may not speak for an organization/political party always. But you don't pull up a professionals in a crowd and expect them to comply with your personal opinions either. Shashi Tharoor obviously didn't think it was a personal opinion when you stated those views. As he himself admits in his second article he wanted that column of his to make an impact, for women to notice and make amends to their attire. Hence the glee when he gets to hear of some blogger making a decision about wearing the Sari at least once a week. With such a motive, how does it become personal? Pray, tell me!

Thanks - for the compliment! Again, as I said before, I have no problems with the Sari itself or those who wish to wear it. My take is only this - leave it to the wearer to decide whether or not they want to.

Emma said...

[Anonymous2] Thanks - I have corrected the same.

This was my reading of both of Shashi Tharoor's columns. I am not sure he just wanted to state his views and leave it at that. He says in as many words in his second column as well.

Unknown said...

I was amused at reading Tharoor's 2nd article on Saris where he's trying to hide behind himself! I was more amused that what blogs and bloggers have prompted him to write another bumbling article in TOI!!

More power to you, Emma.

When it comes to clothes, my wife is comfortable with things other than Saris. But whenever she asks me what should she wear, I always say, "Sari".

Emma said...

[Ranjan] Thank you for your kind words. And yes, you are right - I do think that Tharoor bumbled in his second article.

Well, you are giving your choice because your wife had asked you what she should wear. I am sure you do the same occasionally too. The problem I have is with people assuming they can tell anyone and everyone what one should do/shouldn't do!

Anju Chandel said...

Emma, respecting your rights to protest, whatever I wrote in my response was in SUPPORT of SHASHI THAROOR (like my comments in your "Open Letter" were also to show solidarity with his views - with a tinge of humour so as not to hurt your or other responders’ sentiments) and certainly NOT to say that he is in any way “out of sync” with the Indian realities. I just wished he knew how pathetically an average Indian male could behave upon seeing a female in a western outfit. … You probably got me wrong, completely.

By saying that Shashi Tharoor is truly an NRI (never relinquished innocence), I clearly meant that he, by virtue of living abroad since long, wasn’t aware about the 'real' UGLY side of India’s existence and, therefore, he bothered to waste his precious column centimeters on an issue like “revival of sari wearing” that Indians – males & females alike – do not care about anymore. I truly believe that his were in fact “innocent expressions” out of love for that beautiful attire!

It was also to suggest to ALL critics (by saying WE, I didn’t include myself) that “please stop skinning a hair” with an appeal to rather spend time & space on the Net in helping “our fellow females”, empowering them against, say, a male’s advances besides other atrocities perpetrated on them in our society.

Shashi Tharoor DID NOT write anything blatantly bad so as to invite Indians’ wrath in this derogatory manner. The Indians just failed to understand the essence of his article and went all out – hammer and tongs – after him. Believe me, this entire business of "never-ending" criticism has started to stink.

And, I fully support him for NOT having said SORRY for expressing his "own" views.

Anonymous said...

[Anju] Thanks for the correction. This was my reading of Shashi Tharoor's views - obviously each is entitled to one's own interpretation. In my opinion, he was being sexist and patriarchal; he wasn't just voicing his views, but hoping people out there would listen and "make amends". I had a problem with that, and this is my opinion about the entire case. I am not criticising him just for the heck of criticising him. I did not expect him to apologize either; neither did I ask for it. Sure, he could have views and opinions - but I still object to his "expectations" of others. I am not even getting into whether or not I agree with his views and opinions. Again, this is my take on all his article. Besides, just because you agree with everything he says, and do not agree with anything that I had to say doesn't mean I have to stop saying it.

You know, you have a choice - stop reading the criticism. There are a lot of bloggers out there who have indeed stood behind what he had to say, as he himself admits. Maybe you should spend your time and space on the net over those articles.

Anonymous said...

[unmana] No issues about the email. I am gonna go over and read your post. I hope you are feeling better now.

Anonymous said...

Not wanting to be rude, All in all I think you made an ass of yourself when you picked up pen to criticize Shashi.

You say Shashi or for that no man or woman is allowed to tell women what to wear and it is all dependent on that particular woman AND IF he/she chooses to spark his views about woman's attire then he/she is patriarchal.

Imagine, no man tells a woman what he likes to see them wear because if he does he will be labelled as patriarchal. We also know that a huge population(by huge i mean very huge) wears clothes in (addition to protection and comfort ) for what pleases people/social circle around her/him the most. How the hell would a woman then ever come to know what to wear which would please others? I guess you mean you should tell a woman what you likes most only and only if she goes begging around wanting to know what they feel about her dress?

Emma said...

[Anonymous] Thank you very much. You were absolutely polite and courteous.

You really should re-read what I said. I never said telling a women what to wear is patriarchal. What Shashi said, to me, definitely was - attributing a whole load of BS to a simple garment. Yes, I do have a problem with that. And if someone is gonna tell me that I should wear a Sari because that would make me more of a woman and more of an Indian, yes I am gonna object to that.

By the way, I just don't get it - Why should you think that women should wearing something that should please others? I believe women should wear what pleases them. And if they want to seek an opinion or please others they should do so without getting unsolicited "advice" from others. Is that too much to ask?

I don't see where anyone (men or women) gets a right to go about telling absolute strangers what they think of one's dress. And if someone close to you asks you, go ahead share your opinion, advice, whatever.

Aren't you confusing things up here?