Early this morning (I guess it has to be admitted that 8 in the morning is definitely "early" for hubby dear) hubby walked into the kitchen, gave me a quick embrace and said, "Happy Women's Day". I have known him for 15-plus years now, and this is the first time he has ever said/done anything like this, and obviously one was surprised. When I asked him what this was all about, he said, "nothing... I am just celebrating the woman in my life," and walked away.
Yes, it felt good, but it also made me think - how many people out there do really "celebrate the women in their lives"? On my way back home last evening, I ran into my neighbour on the staircase. She is expecting, into her sixth month, and we got talking - about her health and how she was coping (she has a three-year-old daughter, who can be quite a handful). I very casually asked her if she knew what the gender of the child was, and she mentioned she wanted to know but her doctor had refused to divulge the information. And then she added, "I am hoping we will have a boy; then our family would be complete." She did mention that her doctor had suggested that irrespective of whether she has a boy or a girl, she shouldn't consider having any more kids. "Oh well," she said, resignedly. I was not sure I really understood her, but didn't want to ask her to elaborate on it.
Some days earlier hubby told me about a colleague of his - he grew up the hard way, in a family of about 8-10 siblings, where sometimes even one meal a day was a struggle. He is doing extremely well today and has travelled around the world. One could say he has really made it. Today, he is a father of two daughters, the younger one about 3 years old. Just the other day while talking to hubby he apparently mentioned that he wants to have another kid. Surprised, when hubby asked him why, he implied that he wanted a boy.
Sometime back, I remember reading a post on Writing Cave (I do not have the link to the post itself). Amrit talked about the reactions of various people on the birth of his daughter. Though I don't recall the exact contents, I do remember Amrit talking about how nobody really greeted him with enthusiasm or congratulatory messages when they learnt he had a daughter.
My neighbour is an educated, ambitious young woman who recently returned after a long stint in the US. My hubby's colleague is an IIT-educated engineer who has travelled all around the world, and has been exposed to various cultures and people. Then, what is it that makes expected mothers believe that families become "complete" only if they have a son, or young men desire more children only because they don't have one? I am sure these parents give their daughters the best upbringing; yet it makes me wonder - isn't that innate desire for the male child itself an implicit discrimination againt the female child? What is it that makes these young couples feel they cannot "celebrate" the daughters in their homes?
While what happened in the "renowned" school I talked about in my last post angers me, this makes me sad, really sad.
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4 comments:
Emma, here is the link to Amrit's post because that laddu is after all my niece too. I know for sure my sister and brother-in-law's family is complete :)
I know of people in the town I live in who have five or six girls already but won't stop trying until they have a boy. It's an attitude that baffles and disgusts me.
Women are no longer the burden society once forced them to be –– best to marry them off as soon as possible so they'll be someones else's problem –– so why shouldn't a girl be just as valued as a boy? At least in the US, the argument "to carry the family name" is not valid as it's acceptable for a woman to keep her name after marriage.
I feel fortunate to have been raised by parents who never made me feel "not good enough" because I am female.
P.S. Mridula, if that's the niece you posted pictures of, she's a doll!
[mridula] Thanks a ton.... Yes, this indeed is the post I am talking about. And I agree with lilyb your niece is such a doll.
[lilyb] I would have thought in a country like the US where you are not driven by arguments such as - "carry the family name forward", "a son has to perform your last rites" etc - things would be different. You are right - this is an attitude that baffles me too; what is worse is that sometimes the educated lot in the society too seem to conform to the same set of ideas. I feel fortunate too that my parents never considered us less because we were girls. And also brought me up to value and celebrate the presence of women all around me.
Lily, that is my niece and the doll is getting bigger and naughtier every day!
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