Naseer, what if? What if you hadn't done this?

[Warning: Spoilers ahead]

Yun Hota to Kya Hota happened last night. To say that it was immensely disappointing is actually an understatement. The movie is sub-titled "What if?" (an English translation of the title itself?), and one came out of the movie hall knowing fully well the answer to the question what if you hadn't watched this movie - you wouldn't have missed anything at all. When an actor of Naseeruddin Shah's calibre decides to don the director's cap, expectations are obviously raised. And here they are not met. Not even close to it.

The film has four disparate yet interwoven stories - dovetailed by the common climax they will ultimately be part of. What disappoints is that even Naseeruddin Shah cannot detach himself from various stereotypes regarding America or women. Consider the first story, for instance, that of Konkana Sen and Jimmy Shergill; just married, having met on the net, their honeymoon is cut short because Jimmy has to return to the US the very next day. Konkana stays back with her in-laws, waiting for a visa that will take one year (really?). The family consists of a cantankerous mother-in-law, an atrabilious sister-in-law addicted to sleeping pills and prone to peevish disposition, and a father-in-law who walks about like a zombie in the house and whose voice is heard only at the end. Caught amidst all of them, Konkana's life becomes a living hell just a couple of days after her husband has left her - the typical helpless bahu, who has to sneak out of the house in order to call her husband. Again towards the end when she is unable to find her boarding pass, she is shown as a hysterical, agitated Indian woman, lost in a swanky airport in the new land, not able to distinguish between 50 cents and a dollar. Oh puhleez! And this the same woman who chooses a man she has met on the Internet as her husband!!!

Or, for instance, the second story - of this MBBS doctor who is all set to do a MS in the US, thanks to a friend there - a friend who despises everything Indian only because he happens to be in the US of A, the land of opportunities! He sneers at everything he sees around him in India, wondering out loud how anybody can live in such a whole lot of shit, while waxing eloquent about the wonders of the land across the seven seas. And finally, when you get a glimpse into this person's life in the US itself, what is it like - he is a waiter in a bar, with no house or car to his name. I don't really understand what is wrong with someone who works in a bar that he should be portrayed as being ashamed of it. But that is besides the point; hasn't this image of an NRI itself been beaten to a pulp n-number of times already? Why again? And why, you too, Naseer?

While to a large extent, the movie seems to falter - a lot, actually - there are some things that work in its favour. The third story. That of Paresh Rawal and Ratna Pathak Shah, the former a small-time organizer of foreign shows, who uses that facade to help girls get to America. Ratna, his former lover, now married to a drunkard who abuses her all the time. This is the story that is laced with realism and some brilliant performances - Ratna's struggle to raise the lakhs of rupees Paresh Rawal demands to take the girl abroad, Paresh Rawal's unapologetic greed and hardened stance which wavers only when he sees Ratna and her daughter, the intimate scenes - shown without regret or apology - between the two; yes, all of these work and this is the only time you wonder, maybe, just maybe this director can do far better.

Despite the movie, one can't help but wonder towards the end - four people, different backgrounds, distinctly separate motives, randomly selected (call it by fate, coincidence or whatever) to be part of one of the most horrific events of recent times. And in one moment, their lives changed/lost forever, destinies re-written, many other lives shattered. You can't help but wonder, what if?

And the movie itself - you want nothing but the best from someone like Naseer. Maybe that is being unfair to him - but that's the way it is. And that is probably the reason why the movie fails - and does so on so many fronts. At the end of it all we come away with a sour taste in the month; you feel let down, cheated - knowing the answer to one single question on your mind: What if? What if Naseer hadn't ventured on this untrod path? You would never have known that this brilliant actor, whose emotive powers make any character seem so very real, has one flaw - he makes for a bad director.