Well, not quite, but still. Of course, one has heard of the old adage - when in Rome do as the Romans do. I don't know much about Rome or the Romans, having never been exposed to their 'culcha'. However I wonder - it would obviously be unacceptable if I were in the US and insist on celebrating Diwali the way I do it in India, right? Even if I insist that this is me, and this is the way I have always been and that cannot change, the US government is only likely to throw me out. Understandably, right?
But, this is a rather large picture, and my concerns are much smaller. What about within families and among friends? How does the good-old adage translate? Essentially, what does one do when one is faced with a situation like this - a person, visiting someone's house, insists this is what he is and has been all through his life, and so is not going to change. (ASIDE: Well, I have problems with this all_my_life business as well - why does this phrase become so important once you cross 60? But doesn't seem to matter at all when you are 30? When I am 30, isn't that "all my life" as well?) Anyways, coming back to my hypothetical situation, what happens when such a person refuses to make any adjustments/accomodations using the "all_my_life" excuse? And what will one do when he/she asserts that if he/she can't be who/what he/she is, he/she would rather not visit another at all?
I am all confused. I understand everything about individualism and independence and all that. And I also am aware that each one has specific values, beliefs and habits that others may not necessarily share. At one level, each one of us is an individual. So, does this mean that there can never be a relationship that rises above this individual level?
Insights anyone?
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4 comments:
If 'give and take' is missing, the relationship cannot function. If a person wants only to take, then the person required always to 'give' is going to resent it. That is what I think.
I guess relationships like these do not last long and if they do work out, it's only because of an element of compromise. I think it is necessary for each individual to be accomodating to a certain degree, if s/he intends to have a healthy social life.
I have been living away from family for quite some time now and encountered many kind of people- I have come to believe that people who stick to their "individuality", principles and rules all the time usually overdo it and only make it difficult for other people in the group. They usually end up alone.
And so for the relationship to rise above the "individual" level, it is mandatory to be open to other ideas, other ways. It's a matter of respecting another person's point of view.
:)
It is not about this particular post but that you know deutsch is cool.
I also know a little bit :-)
Ich habe kopfschmerz. Tschuss!
Mridula/Truman,
You are right - unless there is a a certain amount of give and take, no relationship really lasts long. I believe there has to be a more balanced stance that should be adopted - one in which there is individuality in the togetherness. Thanks for sharing your ideas here.
Shoonya,
This is really good. Finally, someone who knows German. I had learnt German some years back and haven't really used it much in recent years; so my knowledge of the language right now is really rustic. But I would love to improve upon it.
Wie ist Ihr Kopfschmerz jetzt? Ich hoffe, Sie fühlen sich viel besser!
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